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May the Fourth... - Smile. It confuses people [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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May the Fourth... [May. 5th, 2017|10:08 pm]
A joke I was told yesterday by a small boy:

Small Boy: I want Avengers potatoes for my lunch.
Me: I'm sorry, honey, there's no such thing.
Small Boy: Yes, there is. There's Hulk's Mash.

He's not quite four, so the set-up was much more drawn out and painful, but still... drumroll, please.

Yesterday was my birthday, and I wasn't entirely sure if I was going to do anything, partly because since last year my two best friends have adopted the aforementioned small boy. But when I mentioned to his mum that I didn't really have any plans she invited me to come round and spend some time with the wee guy until he went to nursery, and then we could have lunch. This invitation was issued was a tinge of desperation, and appeared to be code for: please come round and tag in for a couple of hours, if only to give him someone else to ricochet off, and then you can drink a glass of wine while I stare at you wistfully. A good time was had by all. Especially by me, as I spent much of the morning playing dead having been 'shielded' to death by a tiny child carrying a plastic Captain America shield (you have to lie very still and quiet until he comes back and cuddles you to make you not be dead anymore.)

I meandered back into town to the big bookshop. I was planning to buy myself City of Miracles as I've been looking forward to it all year and it was coming out on my birthday, but it's come out as one of those wonky oversized paperbacks that costs fifteen quid and fucks up whatever shelving system you're trying to work. Instead I got the final Lady Trent book, which I didn't even know was out yet, so that was just as good. Plus, the father of Small Boy, has been the one on the receiving end of most of my rants about Trump and the US election, so he got me Elizabeth Warren's book and wrote 'better luck next time!' inside the cover.

I retired to a pub beer garden for a couple of (3) pints and a little bit of the good Senator. I closed out the day by taking myself off to see Guardians of the Galaxy 2. I hadn't actually been that fussed about seeing Guardians; the film I really wanted to see was Wonder Woman, but they'd thoughtlessly failed to bring it out in time for my birthday. But ultimately I'm glad it worked out this way; I nearly pissed myself laughing, and I have all these Gamora and Nebula feelings that I know not what to do with.

Then I woke up this morning to discover that the local elections had given me the belated birthday present of a UKIP wipeout (good riddance to bad rubbish) although little else positive can be taken from them. Oh, I am so not looking forward to the general next month.

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