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Wonder Woman [Jun. 1st, 2017|11:39 pm]
I very rarely go to the cinema; it's so expensive, telly is so good these days, and there's so much of it. I think the last thing I went to was Ghostbusters, and I'll probably go again for Atomic Blonde. I feel like as I spend a not inconsiderable amount of time bitching about the lack of female led properties I should throw some coinage at those which come my way.

Which brings us to, ta da, Wonder Woman.

I was dismayed to look at the rota, and see that I don't have a proper day off until late next week. A week and a bit before I could see Wonder Woman. Anything might happen. All the cinemas in Scotland might lose their copies of the film. The internet might decide that it was shit and preemptively ruin it for me. The fandom might come and go without me.

Yes, I could have gone after work, but I've read too many articles about how long it's okay to leave a dog on it's own before you're being unkind. For what it's worth, I don't hold with the view that you shouldn't have a dog unless you're home all day; capitalism is a thing, and I'd guess that there are more dogs needing good homes than there are pensioners, stay at home parents, and people who work from home put together. Still, I think seeing a three hour film after being at work all day anyway is a bit much to ask of the dog. Plus, Freya has some Springer Spaniel in her heritage, and if not sufficiently entertained is wont to, ahem, entertain herself.

Anyway, while sulkily poking at cinema listings I noticed that my local, crappy, suburban cinema was doing midnight screenings last night, and for half the price of waiting and going to the big cinema in town next week. It hasn't cost me a fiver to go to the cinema since I was buying under-12s tickets. And it turned out that the crappy suburban cinema has gone upmarket since I was being taken to see All Dogs Go To Heaven twenty odd years ago - who woulda thunk it? - at least far enough upmarket that they sell wine now. The screens are still pretty basic, but it was actually a relief to just go to a 2D screening without having to scan fruitlessly through 3D listings and ones where, idk, your chair gives you a massage during the film.

I might have slightly scared the boy at the concession stand where I was buying half a bottle of wine and an obscenely large bag of M&M laced popcorn; I'd already come out by myself at midnight on a wednesday, might as well go the whole hog, you know?

"Are you looking forward to Wonder Woman?" he asked.

"ONLY SINCE I WAS THREE," I bellowed, in case the M&Ms, wine, and solitary middle of the night presence weren't clues enough.

Anyway, onto the film:

My expectations were managed. I had seen that the reviews were good, on the other hand earlier in the week I had prepared by sitting through the entirety of Batman v. Superman; three hours of dreck made worth it by the thirty second bit where Wonder Woman appears gauntlets crossed to save Batman, and her theme music swells up.

So better than Batman v. Superman was what I was hoping for, and, IT IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN THAT, YOU GUYS.

Themyscira was gorgeous. The amazons were gorgeous; I loved that some of them were played by by actresses, and some by crossfit or kickboxing champions who had just been called up and asked "hey, want to be in Wonder Woman?" Although, I assume I'm not the only one who assumed that Themyscira was a land of heavy to industrial grade lesbianism, and that it was Antiope's lover running to her side when she was shot?

The casting of wee!Diana was spot on. Her baby shadow boxing! The stubborn look on her wee face when Hippolyta told her she wouldn't be a great warrior! Trying to convince her mother to let her train with a shield cause there wouldn't be any sharp edges!

Also, the bit where Diana tells Steve that she's read that though men are necessary for procreation they're surplus to requirements where pleasure is concerned! I have to say, Nu!Kirk does nothing for me, but I found Chris Pine utterly charming here. And I know I'm speaking from a place of industrial grade lesbianism myself, but I think the slightly worn, rough around edges look really works for him.

I loved everything about the sequence in London; Diana as a fish out of water, Etta, Steve lassoing himself with the lasso of truth so she'd know he wasn't lying to her. But the absolute best bits of the film were at the front lines; there's a reason why the sequence of Diana walking out into no man's land was in all the trailers, it was fucking iconic! And the liberation the village had the best fight scenes in the entire movie! My favourite was Diana bursting through that window shield first! And that entire bit - maybe you can't stop a war, but you can save a village; maybe my brain was just numbed from BvS, but that seemed like pretty high level thinking for a DC movie, it certainly beat the crap out of sparing a guy because your mums have the same name.

Diana's belief that she could kill Ares and stop the war just like that could have come across as annoying, and yet didn't; she was naive but not stupid, and Steve not calling her out on it only endeared him to me all the more.

After I'd loved the first two thirds of the movie so very, very much, the big blowout fight between Diana and Ares was a teeny, tiny bit of a letdown. Not because it wasn't a perfectly serviceable huge, ill-defined, CGI fight, but because all these movies have to end with a huge, ill-defined, CGI fight, and this was Wonder Woman's. So in that sense it felt a little by-the-numbers. Also, while I appreciated the twist that the upper class British government guy was Ares, they really needed to shave David Thewlis's moustache for the being thrown for Olympus scene... that did make me go, eh, why does the God of War have a droopy moustache?

I did sense a sort of disconnect between where we left Diana at the end of Wonder Woman and where we found her in Batman v. Superman. BvS and the monologue at the beginning of Wonder Woman made it sound like she'd walked away from humanity entirely, while the end of Wonder Woman seemed to leave her in a much more positive place, and in costume too! So until informed otherwise I've decided to headcanon that Diana has decided that mankind needs to solve mankind's problems, and while she hasn't stepped away from being a hero entirely she only suits up for otherworldly threats, and that's why was in Gotham/ Metropolis during BvS.

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